My Midlife Pout

It just came to me during Bible study this morning. The study is titled "The 7th Year" and the assignment was Part 5 of a six-part exercise to make a timeline of our own personal spiritual formation. In Part 5, we are to note our perceptions of God during the different seasons of our life. After a lifetime of ups and downs...of walking near, then less near, then near again...after all we've been through together!...the perception that most closely describes my current season is, "desperate hope." Desperate hope? Why?!

And then it came to me. Although I've perceived the Lord as intimate, even my best friend, for almost two decades...although He's surprised me, thrilled me, provided me with everything I need, directed me whenever I didn't know what to do--really been there for me...He hasn't used me to an extent that shows me I'm a valuable asset to Him. It seems to me He's made a rather hefty investment. But here I am, in midlife, and my life is so little...so inconsequential. The Bible says all His followers will bear fruit, but...where's mine? Why hasn't He allowed more of a return for all His investment in me?

Search me!

Yes...search me, O Lord...

Well, have I been faithful with what He's given me?

Perhaps, lately, not so much...

He's given me a couple kids to guard, equip, and chauffeur, and sometimes I'm a really bad example to them of patience and grace. Currently, He's assigned me to a distant, little bitty church congregation in the middle of the country that I often chafe to attend. And right now the paychecks are too tight to be fun to manage, so I don't. And to top it all off, how do I respond to my dissatisfaction with my current season? Do I take the matter to my Best Friend and talk it out with Him? No...I pout!

Well, not anymore! The issue is out, I've had my cry of repentance, and I am FREE! Free again to patiently love my teens, worship with my congregation, manage our finances and home, and hope, dream, dance, walk & talk with my Best Friend! Yeah!!!

Parable of the Talents: Matthew 25:14-30

"For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have in abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him." (Verse 29)

5 Ideas for Loving

First, I LOVE this post by Robbi Iobst!

Jesus tells us the greatest command is to love God, and the second greatest is to love others as ourselves. But what does that mean? How do we do it? Around Valentine's Day, we like to host a 5 Love Languages Treasure Hunt for our kids and their friends' families. It's a fun way to teach, remind, model, and explore different ways to communicate love. We close the party by rating our favorite ways to be loved and sharing them with those who spend the most time loving us.

Here are some of our favorite party activities for each of the five love languages:

1) Quality Time: Read a story together. One great title for this party is Enemy Pie by Derek Munson. I make individual Enemy Pies (use tart or pie crust with berry filling) and serve them for dessert.

2) Acts of Service: Prep the ingredients and crust ahead of time to make homemade pizza together. If you hide the prepped food in your vehicle ahead of time, you can send the kids out to get it, then thank them for their act of service when they bring in the groceries.

3) Words of Affirmation: While the pizza bakes, exchange cards with affirming messages, toast each other with sparkling juice, and/or decode a "message in flowers" (choose flowers you know the meanings of and use them to create a message bouquet, then give the guests a key so they can decode it)

4) Physical Affection: Have a foot spa! There are lots of ideas online for different themes. We usually make this one a chocolate foot spa. This activity makes a big impression for a small investment. ;~)

5) Gifts: Rather than a bunch of cheap party favors, I like to give our guests 1-2 pieces of individually wrapped fine quality chocolate and a couple meaningful tokens to help them remember their experience.

This year we handed out badges as we completed each activity, and at the end of the party each person taped their badges onto a chart in the order of their importance to them. It was a fun way to see which activity spoke "Love" most profoundly to each individual.

This year we also prepared a script, complete with treasure hunt clues, directions, and tips. If you would like a copy, please leave me a comment.

Love,

L

Canadian Geese Winter Over...Up North in MN!

Okay, so, we went downhill skiing yesterday. This may not sound too incredible being as it IS January here in Minnesota...except that we have no snow.

Well actually, WE have a skiff of snow in our yard left over from three days ago, but there isn't a stitch of the white stuff to be found for at least a 1-hour radius around the ski resort. Our drive to the resort was amazing. We live on the meandering boundary between forest and farmland, and the resort was developed on a hill in the middle of farm country about 90 miles south. About half way there, we started seeing huge groups of Canadian geese--the cornfields were alive with them! This year, that's as far south as they had to migrate!

Given the shortage of snow around our place, I was a little leery about ski conditions and hesitated to commit to the homeschooling downhill ski day in advance. But earlier this week the resort website said they were making snow and most runs were open, so I finally capitulated. As we covered the last few miles, though, I began to get a sick feeling. We were driving through nothing but bare, brown fields and old, dead, cured stalks and grasses. Enough snow to ski...really???

The resort was a surreal sight: camouflaged from distant sight by a crown of dormant bushes, it popped up suddenly out nowhere--a shiny white hill sitting like a clean little blob of marshmallow creme on a huge chocolate sheet cake--wow!

We had a blast! Kudos to the resort--they created an incredible little recreation microcosm, they're staying in business, and I hope they're making a profit! There was only a 6-12" base of snow, but it was enough. The sun was shining, there was only a light breeze at the top of each chairlift, the temps were great, the snow was in decent condition, and our kids went from the tentative beginners they've been for the past three seasons to black diamond dare-devils!

The much-discussed, much-researched, much-hyped year of 2012 has finally arrived. Not to be an alarmist, but as I look at its beginning and the Bible's end, I can see why so many people are taking a closer look. I predict we're going to have an interesting fire season this year. And I'm wondering how the farmers are going to do...and where our produce is going to come from this year...and how much it's going to cost??? I tried to get the kids to focus and dialogue about this as we were driving through the goose fields, but they were too excited, anticipating the ski day.

Reminds me of this biblical head's up in Matthew 24: 37-39, 42:

"In the days before Noah's flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage...and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came...

As it was in the days of Noah, so will it be at the coming of the Son of Man. Therefore, keep watch..."

Is it hypocritical, then, as I ponder food shortages, firestorms, starting a local soup kitchen to provide nutritious fodder for the malnutritioned in our community, and other FEMA-type relief efforts...that once I post this blog, I'm leaving to do nothing more with the rest of my day but drive 80 miles to have lunch and go purse shopping with my daughter and close friends??? Well, that said, I'll also be on the lookout for ways I can invest rather than simply spend the day!

Ziva Did It!

For the past year our family movie time has been riveted on what was, for us initially, an unlikely target--the highly successful crime show series, NCIS. So far we've watched (in order) every episode of Seasons 1-8. And as family movie watching often does, this activity has produced a new level of comradeship among us. We've experienced every episode together, discussed and played with some aspects, made common memories. To make the endeavor and time even more valuable, the teacher in me assigned an extension activity: Write an essay telling what you learned from the show. Here we list our family's most valuable lessons:

~Ziva did it! This is code for "Dad is funny, albeit repetitious." He blames Ziva for everything around here, now!

~"On your six, Boss." There is such a thing as a team, and it requires loyalty and dependability. Don't take a job unless you're committed to supporting your team. Your co-workers are depending on you. Incidentally, your family is a team, and it depends on your support as well.

~Give 'em a Gibbs A head slap on the back of the head for saying/doing something foolish is just affectionate feedback. If the whack was on the front, it would be demoralizing. No whack at all leaves you feeling insecure, unsure of your value and position in the group. (That's NCIS's perspective and we laugh about it, but Bear Bait insists that if his boss ever gave him a Gibbs, that'd be the end of THAT job!)

~The Rules Everyone needs a code they can live by. There are rules. Sometimes they're more like guidelines, but... My house, my rules. Gibbs has about 50. See them here. We each have a favorite. Mine is Rule #51: Sometimes I'm wrong.

~Time Management

"A little less time for the rest of the world / And more for the [four] of us..."

(Okay, that's not from NCIS. I borrowed it from the song Honesty by Rodney Atkins--thank you, Rodney! I borrowed it because my HE, Bear Bait, truly worked hard at and learned the value of giving the world a little less time while we were deep in the throes of watching NCIS. "Projects? Projects--schmojects! We've got a DVD to watch!")

~Chinese Takeout We all love it! The restaurants are trying to get away from packing their entrees in paper cartons nowadays, but it's worth the extra trouble to clarify that desire to the person who takes your order. Besides the extra xenoestrogens we don't need around here, it's just not the same eating Chinese out of plastic.

~Morality vs. Ethics "The ethical man knows that it is wrong to cheat on his wife, whereas the moral man actually would not do it." --explains Dr. Mallard to his assistant ME, Palmer. I appreciate Ducky's analysis. It's good to mark the difference here, so you're not so disappointed if the person you vote into office, go into partnership with, or even just look up to turns out to be more ethical than moral...

~Semper Fi Most of my family members rebelled against the idea of actually WRITING their thoughts, but one actually did turn in an essay, and it's awesome:

I learned what the word "semper fi" means, even though I don't remember now.

I learned that you don't have to tell everybody your business (unless you need to).

I learned you can't love someone too much, because everybody eventually passes on.

I learned that you can't trust someone too much because there's always a chance

they will turn against you. I learned that I am very interested in Forensic Science.

How about you? Any favorite gold nuggets from this show? Or just an opinion? Love it? Hate it? Feel free to leave comments! ;~)

Semper Fi...(Always faithful),

Lattice

I AM SO THANKFUL TODAY!

I am so thankful today

that last night I was able to go to bed at 11:30 and sleep through the night without pain...

I am so thankful today

that on this day over a decade ago, my friend, Leone, was available to pick me up, drive me to the hospital, and coach me through the day.

I am so thankful today

that my HE is still happily married to me, even though on this day over a decade ago, I (apparently...according to him...though I absolutely can't imagine or remember myself doing this) told him to "Get out of my face!"

I am so thankful today

that on this day over a decade ago, in spite of all that could have gone wrong, God blessed us with the safe delivery of a precious little girl who was the spittin' image of her baby brother when he was born!

"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." --Psalm 139:13-14

I am so thankful today

that on this day over a decade ago, the Lord gave us the final biological member of our family. We welcomed her along on our journey of teaching and learning from/with each other as we pursue Christ-centered living together.

I am so thankful today

for the gift of marking days and looking back,

for today as I reflected on many fond memories, I also discovered I was still holding a grudge against one of the nurses who was assigned to help us that day. I know the wisdom and freedom, now, of choosing to forgive and not despise God's other children, and it is easy--a relief, even--to let go of that burden.

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." --Matthew 11:28-30

Finally, I am so thankful today

that I am not being poked or pierced with anything. It's our daughter's turn for that. She got her ears pierced! ;~)

2011 Dance ExPLOSION!

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Aha!

[He] knew he should say something more, but his mind was still reeling. He couldn't think of anything else to say that wouldn't take more explaining than he was capable of right now.

(from Impeachable Offense by Neesa Hart, pg 3)

My mind's been reeling for months. Somewhere in the middle of last school year I lost both my bearings and my footing.

Footings... Hmmm...

Maybe it was when I broke my foot! That was last mid-December. I'd promised our son I would meet him on the ice to skate while his school friends were still arriving for his party. He was excited, and I was late. Running quickly through our crowded house, I failed to negotiate a turn in our hallway and whammed my pinkie toe, HARD!, into the wall corner. Black and blue, swollen and bleeding...suddenly skating, as well as dance practice, walking, and even putting on a shoe, were out for the evening.

The owie slowed me down, but didn't stop me. I limped through the Christmas break and had to sit in the lodge during our annual downhill ski trip, but I was ready to teach and dance again by mid-January. A few weeks later we spent a lovely afternoon XC skiing and my foot didn't hurt at all--just felt tired when we were done. Until an hour later, when I re-broke it playing in the snow at the campground where we stopped for teatime! This time I ended up in a walking boot. Dance class was no longer an option and I limped through school and housekeeping for six weeks. All my favorite winter sports activities were out, and the bare necessities were harder to accomplish--took more time. Since I had commitments and responsibilities, I gave my quiet times away to work. I figured it was just for the short-term, because I had to.

But, like Mary's sister Martha, I was "distracted with much serving..." (Luke 10:38-42). By summer, my foot was healed but my soul and spirit were not. My prayer life had virtually petered out. As a teacher I was burned out to the point that little disappointments made me critical, and I no longer wanted to participate in our homeschooling co-op. I also had no heart or gumption for my favorite warm weather activities. I spent almost the whole summer sitting on the beach while my kids swam, and I hardly biked at all. Still, I did not recognize my depression. I felt "fine"--just tired, and cold...

My functional med doctor saw me in late summer and insisted I exercise harder. Run, he said. I hate running, but...our son decided to try XC running, so I did, too. After the initial rotten first two weeks, running went well and felt good until mid-fall when N got sick and there was just driving and hospitals and doctors--no time or place for exercise.

Now it's winter again.

I'm feeling old,

and noticing a pattern of lack of ambition. I see now that

I've been drowning for months,

and struggling for weeks to regain a foothold so I could rise above the surface again.

This week I returned to my piano to worship musically,

and finally, just today...

a whole year after breaking my foot...

had a basic, real, honest-to-goodness prayer time again.

Ahhhh....!

Short, simple, and...successful, the Lord definitely met me where I was. I feel..wooed. And excited for tomorrow. Because...well, have a gander at the gold nugget He gave me today:

"Be still, and know that I am God."

~Psalm 46:10