Friday, September 3, 2010
Are you kidding? June 28th...?! It's been two whole months since I've sat down to blog???
Do you know how discomfiting it is to read your last blog entry and find most of it completely unfamiliar? ...I said WHAT? ...We really did THAT? I don't even recognize my own voice anymore, let alone the plot!
I take solace in a bit of wisdom from the remade version of Freaky Friday: "If she was doin' it, she wouldn't be writing about it in her journal--she'd be out there doin' it."
That's me. I've been out there "doing" life--just living it rather than writing about it, because I've felt like an arrow shot toward a target I can't see. The journey has been interesting but nothing terribly spectacular, and it's all happened rawther faster than I can even think. Following a school year in which I felt like I was walking on water, I climbed back in the boat and entered a short season (amazingly short!) of catch up and rejuvenation--a season where I felt, spiritually speaking, as though I was "between the waves." I'd just finished an incredible ride, but couldn't yet imagine what was over the next oncoming wave. I had no vision, no direction. And for the time being that was just fine with me. I was tired, and welcomed a time of rest. Despite my best intentions and willful submission to it, though, I'm not sure I took proper advantage of it. It seemed to be gone quite suddenly, like when you wake from a dead-tired sleep and feel as though you haven't really slept at all. And when it was gone I still felt scatter-brained and had only very limited vision.
Perhaps my rest was stolen?
Stolen by storms. Or by expectations. For while I expected storms during the month of June, I also expected them to end by the beginning of July. (While there's surely a metaphorical level to this discussion, I am, at this point, actually speaking of physical storms.) This summer it was storms, storms, storms. Thunderstorm after thunderstorm, tornado after tornado, and rain-pelting wind, wind, wind. July is usually a long, mellow season of beach days and barbecues, but this year it was a staccato of starts and stops laced with extreme environmental violence.
And now it's September, and still the storms continue. Last night I fell asleep to pattering on the roof. This morning I woke to a windy gale, more rain, and temps that direct my thoughts toward hot spiced cider, pumpkin goodies, deer hunting, and even snow. In fact, it just snowed in my home state a few days ago!
Jesus walked on water and calls us to get out of the boat--out of our comfort zone--to walk on it with Him. But He also slept in the boat...in the midst of the storm...up, down, and between the waves...
"As they sailed, He fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke Him, saying, 'Master, Master, we're going to drown!' He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm." ~Luke 8:23-24
Lord, please help us to rest with You, and trust You for our vision. And if it's not Your will for the storms outside to subside here as they did for You there, then please help us look above them as we walk in their midst.