A Season of Good-bye

It is a homeschooler's life to get behind in housework for a season here and there. Educating gets priority, and sometimes the academics get the highest of all. And sometimes academics just take more focus and time than we expect. Despite my best efforts and intentions, no matter how well organized and well-oiled the machine (that is, our household) is at the beginning of a new set of curriculum, eight or nine months is a long time for a home to run on auto-pilot. So summer is typically a time to catch up and de-clutter (as well as garden, bicycle, read, fish, camp, vacation, and enjoy the sun and water at the lake every livin' afternoon!).

This year some of our "clutter" is unique. For instance, for over a year now we've been living with a cluttered driveway. Now, we have a nice long driveway and what is currently a single car garage (it's big enough to be a double, but there's only one door for vehicles and the second bay is enclosed, a cluttered storage room we've dubbed "The Hell Room") at the end--PLENTY of room for a couple vehicles, and maybe even a boat! But currently have five--yes, I said F-I-V-E!--vehicles, PLUS a boat and another trailer--creatively parked in it! Our driveway ALWAYS looks like there's a party goin' on here! There's a story and a practical reason behind each piece of equipment, yet they seem an ostentatious display and they're definitely an encumbrance. Yesterday the culling began. With a resigned Bear Bait telling me what to say, I posted my first ad ever on Craigslist.org. Anybody in the market for an '87 Ford F350 Crew Cab 4x4 that's never seen salt? The interior is worn but the truck runs good, and has really low miles, a heavy-duty bumper, and an onboard inverter. The thought of parting with it makes Bear Bait wanna cry, but being hungry makes him grumpy, too...

Another unique thing we've had to declutter this summer is one of our pet tanks. After loving and learning on two painted turtles that hatched in our yard almost two years ago, the turtles (Ping and Pong) suddenly quit eating and began spending inordinate amounts of time trying to swim through the glass walls of their aquarium. We researched and worked on this problem for a couple weeks, even putting crappie minnows in the tank for them to hunt. It was all to no avail. They enjoyed chasing the minnows and stalking them under rocks, but could only grab a tail now and then--crappie minnows were too big and fast, and only appetizing when they were alive. Finally we faced the fact that it was time to let Ping and Pong go. This was heartbreaking for our pet-keepers, as they'd envisioned keeping the turtles until their shells were five inches long before releasing them back to the wild (as mandated by our state Dept of Natural Resources). Ping and Pong were prob'ly up to about 2.5 inches in diameter...halfway there. As hard as it was, though, our brave kids realized the turtles needed to be reintroduced now or they weren't going to make it. In a tearful-but-joyful goodbye ceremony, Ping and Pong seemed to settle quite naturally into our swamp among cattails that gave them excellent cover from predators like birds. The last we saw of them, they were smacking away on fresh something-or-other that we couldn't offer them in captivity. The kids continue to harbor a sneaking little hope that they'll wander back into our yard for a quick visit someday.

Last week we started repainting the exterior of our house, then moved inside when the humidity and rain showed up. We repainted and rearranged our entry/dining area and pantry. This week I'm diving into our daughter's room and finishing the exterior. Hopefully next week Bear Bait will finish our son's new bed and we'll begin using it to declutter his bedroom space (it features custom drawers and shelves for more storage)...while at the same time making room in the garage for a little mechanical work on the boat. By then I should be practiced up, ready to tackle the worst room of all--mine!

I love fresh, clean, decluttered living/working space...space that WORKS for you! And every year the kids are a little older and a little more interested in actively managing the space (in the midst of their academic activities), too. Now here's hoping (and praying) no tornadoes will hit us just when we get finished!

This is out of context, but in light of our build-up of clutter and recent tornado weather, I connect with this portion of scripture today:

"...it is the season for heavy rain and we are not able to stand outside. Nor is it the work of one or two days..." ~ Ezra 10:13

I WISH to Write!

I wish to write

.....without pressure of rhyme or meter or cadence,

.....((though, alas, such play continually in my mind!)

I wish to write

.....the taste of melting butter and honey

.....on fresh steaming homemade fruit dumplings...

I wish to write

.....the sound of the sweetest melody

.....perfectly tuned to universal lyrics,

.......... the glory of the panoramic alpine vision

.......... unmarred by man's footprint or even his breath,

............... and the sensation of shrinking into myself

............... as the universe expands, unwinding...

I wish to write

.....the feel of your skin brushing mine

.....and our essence mingling together

And of

.....the pure, clean necessity of time to embrace aloneness

.....with all the weary hot tears and crumpled heaps,

.....melting into quiet reflection, rest, and direction.

I wish to write

.....of my free-spirited passion for life...

Yet even the richest articulation can never really tell it all,

And besides...

.....I have SUCH the writer's cramp! :~O

Auditory Smorgasbord

It is finished... Homeschool co-op classes, the Rest in Rivendell/Lii campaign, AND hunter's safety! Success reverberates from all three endeavors. A vibrant ornithologic dawn song is also reverberating through my window this morning, wrapping 'round me like a light cocoon in which I can study peacefully...the perfect amount of "noise" to keep an auditory learner from, as my daughter says, "deconcentrating." For a quick, free diagnostic tool to help determine your primary learning style and concise descriptions, strengths, and tips for each, click here

For the rest of this week we will concentrate on our end-of-year dance recital. Five of the numbers have reverberated through our house all year and we've gradually become emotionally attached to even the jazz music. The recital will be a smorgasbord of sound--40 or so songs, some of which will be nice oldies but others will be new and will crash into our senses discourteously. Between dress rehearsal and the performances, we'll hear them all at least three times. The choreography and costumes will be fabulous, and by the end we'll like each song at least a little bit. Then Dance, too, will be finished for the year.

But our home will not be silent. ;~)

Sometimes I long for silence. Then when I get it, it feels like a stagnant black blanket and I grow dizzy and chafe under it. Thank God for sound, for senses. Praise Him for the natural undulations of life, and be glad He sets boundaries on that sea...that fantastic smorgasbord of sensorial input.

The Road Unbending

"Fairness does not mean giving everyone the exact same treatment. Fairness means giving everyone the treatment they need."

~ Richard Lavoie, in the PBS F.A.T City Workshop titled

Understanding Learning Disabilities: How Difficult Can This Be?

Lately we've been taking our children driving on Sunday afternoon. Or rather, they've been taking us... We've found some forgotten forest roads where we can safely relinquish the wheel to begin the first steps of practical driving practice. The kids are thrilled. So are we. It's a refreshing alternative to our normal academic studies. And in this endeavor, there is a myriad of challenging lessons available to both student and teacher:

• How does one adjust the seat? And the mirrors?
• How does one keep an eye on both the speedometer and the road?
• How far over on the soft shoulder can one drive without sliding into the ditch?
• How does one stop a vehicle without giving one's passenger(s) whiplash?
• Am I really ready to relinquish control and entrust my child with the family vehicle and our lives?
• Should I grab the wheel to help them make a quick correction or give them one more second to figure it out?
• Am I insane or realistic to empower them with driving skills at this age?

Our daughter is interesting to teach. She reminds me a lot of me: a self-centered child with a need for speed. She seems to be less rebellious than just completely oblivious to the fact that life includes rules and other people and she cannot always have her way. We've worked and worked to strengthen her will to make healthy choices without breaking her spirit, yet even after all these years she still astounds us. We give her an imperative, and she just wanders off, completely ignoring it, to do whatever she wants until we go after and corral her. Not to mention all the times she tries to change our minds about our plans and decisions... If there ever was an example of someone who thinks the world is her oyster, our daughter is it.

Imagine my loving joy for her, then, when our last driving lesson offered the perfect opportunity to introduce a spiritual object lesson about free will. This week she encountered the fact that the ROAD does not bend to her will! Just because SHE wants to turn doesn't mean it's going to change to accommodate her!

Yes!!!

And no, there was no fender-bender or accident of any kind. I grabbed the wheel right away. Repeatedly! ;~)

Such strong questioning and testing of authority...

What potential she has to succeed or fail mightily.

I pray our daughter's will will be thoroughly, rightly strengthened and submitted while the price tags for the lessons are still small.

I'm so thankful she resides in the hands of a loving, all-powerful God...

I think driving will be an important, integral part of our curriculum for awhile...

Who really has the authority in your life?

"Yet you say, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.' Hear now, O house of Israel, is it not My way which is fair, and your ways which are not fair?" --Ezekiel 18:25

Rules of Diplomacy

I'm compelled to share this excerpt from Shannon Hale's Princess Academy:

When they arrived at the academy, the girls arranged themselves before the steps in a straight line... In the silence of waiting, Miri became aware of the jagged rocks poking through her boot soles... She wanted to hop around or say something funny to relieve the nervous tension, but she was the diplomat and thought she had better appear respectable...

Finally Olano emerged, fists on her hips...

Miri brought to mind the first rule of diplomatic negotiations: State the problem. "We know we are not welcome inside," she said.

Olana blinked. That was not what she had been expecting to hear.

"We left without your permission and violated your authority," said Miri. The second rule: Admit your own error. "That was wrong."

Frid shuffled her feet nervously. Miri knew the girls had not been expecting to concede fault... But she wanted Olana to see that they had listened and learned.

"You kept us from our families, punished us for unfair reasons, and treated us like criminals. That was also wrong. We're here now, willing to forget our mutual offenses and start over. Here are our terms."

Olana blinked rapidly, a sign that her composure had slipped. Miri felt encouraged. She reviewed the other rules: State the error of the other party. Done. Propose specific compromises and end with Invite mutual acceptance. She hoped she was not forgetting anything.

"For each rest day, we will be allowed to return home to our families and attend chapel... When traders come, we will return home for one week to help... Rule breaking may be punished with a missed meal, but no one will be hit, locked in a closet, or grounded from a return home."

Olana clicked her tongue to show that she was not impressed. "I have a steep task to turn twenty mountain girls into presentable ladies. These measures are the only way I can keep you in line."

Miri nodded. "Perhaps they were, but no longer. As part of these new terms, we will vow to focus on our studies, respect your authority, and obey all reasonable rules."

Just one more: Illustrate the negative outcome of refusal and positive of acceptance. "If you don't agree to this, whichever of us [becomes princess] will report your bad behavior and demand that you serve the rest of your days in...a territory that is swampland--smelly, sticky with mud, and poorer than the mountains."

Olana cringed visibly.

"And if you live by these terms and treat us as you would treat noblemen's daughters, whichever one of us is chosen as the princess will commend your teaching and see you get comfortable work..."

"I see..." said Olana.

"We accept these terms and invite you to do the same," said Miri, waiting for Olana to respond. The silence poked at Miri's confidence, and she shifted her feet in the rock debris and tried not to squirm under the weight of Olana's hesitation. "Um, so do you?"

"Do I accept these terms?" Olana pulled long each vowel sound, an effect that had always made Miri cold for what she would do next. "I'll go ponder the matter, and I'll be sure to let you know."

~~~

Now before we practice, let's review the rules. ('tho they're really more what you might call...guidelines!)

1. State the problem.
2. Admit your own error.
3. State the error of the other party.
4. Propose specific compromises.
5. Invite mutual acceptance.
6. Illustrate the negative outcome of refusal and positive of acceptance.

But alas, Miri DID forget a rule. Can you guess what it is???

"See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil... I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess. But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in [the Promised Land]... I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore, choose life." --Deuteronomy 30:15-19

Remarkable...

When they're young, children think so much is remarkable. They insistently call our attention to things which we gaze at and think, "WHAT is so amazing about that???"

As parents, much less that happens seems remarkable and worth commenting about to others. Our parents call to check up on us and we think, "Oh Mom--get a life."

Then we become grandparents, and things our children cannot fathom as important are suddenly remarkable again, and we want to be updated and sought for advice.

I am in the middle season--caught in the middle between my children who want focused attention and praise for everything they do, and my mother who wants to know everything they do. I feel like the squished middle part of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

Today I needed a break from my children calling me, so I sent them away to their friends' house. Then my dear friend who just became a grandma cried on my shoulder because her son never calls to update her about her grandchild. And, well...I think I'm beginning to understand my mother better now.

"Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice." ~Proverbs 23:25

A Time to Dance...

It's been four years and nine months since a friend's college-aged son received confirmation that his neuroblastoma (a type of childhood cancer that affects developing nerve cells) was back. Through their journal at CaringBridge.org the events of Erik Ludwinski's life, struggle, and the family's faith have been beautifully expressed, encouraging thousands. Last week Erik passed into Heaven, and his family continues to share their faith and joy even in the midst of their painful grieving. They exhibit a beautiful example of Ecclesiastes 3:4b:

"There is a time to mourn and a time to dance."

A time to mourn...AND a time to dance...

Some would say it's impossible, or perhaps shameful, to both mourn and dance at the same time. But then others would say it's shameful to spend time crying over something one cannot change. I believe there is no shame in crying when a loved one dies, nor rejoicing when a loved one enters their restful reward, but rather the shame is in not expressing how much we miss our loved ones, or the selfless joy we feel for their gain. Where death is concerned, the two emotions ARE very naturally entwined...don't you think?

That's my "soapbox speech" for today. I mourn with Erik's family, pray for their comfort, and rejoice with them over Erik's fortune. He ran a good race. His funeral this Saturday will be a celebration of the life he lived before us here, as well as the infinitely better life he's recently begun.

On a more personal note, it's been eight weeks since my little left pinky toe rammed (at about Mach 10) into the wall that sticks out in our hallway as I hurried by on my way to dress in warm layers for our son's ice skating b-day party. I was sure I heard it crack, but x-rays eventually confirmed my FM doc's tuning fork diagnosis that it was only a sprained metatarsal. The skin was split open, and despite icing that first night, most of my foot was swollen and green the next morning. So much for ice skating...downhill and x-country skiing...and dance class this winter.

The prescribed treatment was alternating 20-min ice water and tepid epsom salts soaks morning and night, and for pain, liberally applying peppermint essential oil everywhere on the wound except where the skin split. Within a week my gait was almost normal, but I waited two weeks before trying to dance again.

Two weeks wasn't enough...

You know, what really surprised me is that I missed dancing! I mean, it's really not been my forte. I've never done anything like this before, and I've gained SO much more appreciation and respect for what my kids go through and how naturally talented they are now that I know how unnatural dance is for me. (The week before I injured myself, my dance instructor commented on how serious and frustrated I looked in the mirrors all the time, and explained, "It shouldn't be like that. This should be fun for you, too!" To which I replied, "I am having fun [when I'm practicing on my own at home!]...but I usually feel like crying by the end of every class.") But once I couldn't dance, I discovered I almost couldn't NOT dance anymore! I danced all over the kitchen, back and forth from the stove to the table with hot food, making up new turns I haven't been taught or even shown yet...and it WAS so FUN!

I went back to class too early, and in an effort to keep my feet dry I wore shoes that were too tight in the toes, and needless to say, I suffered a big setback. It's been six weeks now since I last reinjured my foot, and just last week it was well enough to endure massage and adjustment. I still can't wear my dance shoes, but was allowed on the floor in stocking feet yesterday. I'm still limited, but it felt SO GOOD to move and stretch, leap and turn again! My foot swelled slightly after class and I had to ice it again last night, but I danced with freedom and joy rather than burden, and that made all the difference.

Praise God! There is, indeed, a time to dance.